Intervening after violence : therapy for couples and families

Abstract

Physical and emotional violence is prevalent in couple and family relationships (Office for National Statistics UK 2014). There are many well-established books on how to assess for the risk of future violence in families, and on how to intervene therapeutically to help family members stop the violence, including the book by one of the present authors (Hamel and Nicholls 2006; Hamel 2005; Cooper and Vetere 2005). However, less is written on how to help couples and families once the violence has stopped. Many couples and families wish to stay together following the cessation of violent behaviour. Facing the legacy of violence, and often intergenerational violence and trauma, is both challenging and complex—for family members and for therapists. Healing and relationship repair is the focus of this book. In our experience, this aspect of the work takes as much, if not more, therapeutic time than helping family members to stop the violence. Consolidating change, establishing interpersonal trust, supporting more satisfying bonding and effective problem-solving begins with the assessment and intervention work, but this book is dedicated to working therapeutically with the aftermath—and dealing with unresolved loss, disappointment and hurt, masked trauma responses, developmental trauma, problems of relational esteem, affect regulation and supporting sustainable coping and the giving and receiving of compassionate comfort and care. This aspect of therapeutic work is the focus of this book. Invariably this involves extensive collaboration with the professional network of concern involved with the couple and/or family and their extended family members. [Excerpt].