Loneliness – a modern epidemic

Abstract

Most of us know it, are acquainted with it. At some point in our lives it is likely that you or I will feel lonely. Loneliness has been described as a scourge of modern times, a cruel reality, the worst form of punishment for humans, and a growing phenomenon. A simple online search on the topic of loneliness produced headlines describing it as a public-health threat, as something that is killing people, as something we need to start talking about. Research studies on loneliness, its causes and its effects abound. The Faculty for Social Wellbeing, at the University of Malta, and Caritas (Malta) have identified loneliness as one of the main difficulties faced by Maltese society today. In an interview with Tim Adams (2016) for The Guardian, John Cacioppo, a leading social neuroscientist who researched the area of loneliness extensively, described how loneliness is like an iceberg – it goes deeper than we can see. He explained how being with others does not necessarily mean you’re going to feel connected, and being alone does not mean you are going to feel lonely. So – there is nothing inherently problematic about solitude in and of itself. I would say loneliness is not about being alone; it is about not feeling connected. And connection to others is widely considered as a fundamental human need – crucial to wellbeing (Holt-Lunstad, Smith, Baker, Harris, and Stephenson, 2015). Loneliness is a subjective, unwelcome feeling of lack or loss of companionship, which happens when the quantity and quality of social relationships that we have, do not tally with those that we really want. It is often associated with social isolation, but people can and do feel lonely even when in a relationship or when surrounded by others. For most of us the loneliness we experience will be transient in nature. It is when this loneliness becomes long-term and persistent that it becomes a serious concern, creating “a persistent, self-reinforcing loop of negative thoughts, sensations and behaviours” (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008, p.7). In other words, it is long-term, chronic loneliness that wears us down rather than loneliness that is ‘situational’ or passing. Once loneliness becomes chronic, it is difficult to treat. It has in fact, been described as one of the surest markers in existence, for maladjustment.