Gender differences : the way men and women give and receive advice

Abstract

From the moment we are born, men and women are given certain social characteristics that remain with them throughout adolescence and into their adult years. Most of these characteristics are gender based and unconsciously affect the techniques used when interacting with members of our same sex and members of the opposite sex. This dissertation aims to examine this verbal interaction between individuals of both genders, focusing on the way men give advice to men/women and the way women give advice to women/men with the intention of identifying the differences between them, if any exist. Research has shown that men and women have different approaches to giving advice and by delving into the history behind this, as well as by means of in-person interviews, the present writer hopes to investigate what linguists have said on the issue of advice, compare it with the survey findings, and possibly discover some reasons as to why the two genders give advice the way we do along with reasons for their reactions to that advice. Researchers, such as Deborah Tannen (1990, 1991, 1994), say that women use advice as a form of intimacy to obtain confirmation of their feelings, whereas men use it as a power tool and take on the role of the problem solver. Even as children, it has been found that girls tend to dwell on a problem, while boys are most likely to mention a problem, hit upon a solution and move on to another subject. The way men and women give advice to one another often infuriates both the giver and receiver of the advice for the simple reason that men and women are inclined to view each other by the typical styles of their own gender.